Successful but something missing

There comes a point in most people’s lives when they begin to question what life is all about.
What am i doing with my life? What’s my purpose in life ? There has to be more to life than this ?
If you’re reading this then congratulations, you’ve reached that point !

You may have achieved success in your life, in whatever form that takes, job status, money, material possessions, marriage, children, but you still feel there is something missing. You are not alone. Recent research shows that up to 85% of the population are unhappy or dissatisfied with some aspect of their life, be it work, finances, relationships or the way they look.


Most people when asked what they want in life will answer, happiness. We learn from an early age that happiness can be found in objects. As we grow up, childhood toys become adult toys. A new car, the latest i phone, clothes, money, all of which can represent symbols of success. These objects do bring us happiness but it is often fleeting and short lived, so we go in search of more objects.

Let me share with you my story. I once had all the trappings of success. I used to work in the NHS where i climbed my career ladder to become a Consultant Clinical Psychologist, head of specialty within my department. I lived in a beautiful large detached house in the Lake District, drove a high performance car and took frequent holidays abroad. Was i happy ? No, in fact it was the most unhappy period of my life.

Once we realise that objects cannot give us the happiness we seek we may look towards relationships. If only i can find the right partner then i will be happy. Once again the early stages of a relationship, the so called “ honeymoon phase” can be blissfully happy but after time many couples decide to separate or divorce because they have not found the love and happiness they were seeking. We may then discover spirituality and yet another search begins but the peace we seek remains elusive.

Many people spend a whole lifetime searching for happiness, love and peace but never find it.

Maybe it’s time to end the search “out there” and to turn and look within.

“I think everybody should get rich and famous and get everything they dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.”

Jim Carrey


In order to understand why our search for happiness, peace and love remains so elusive we need to go back to childhood. Studies have demonstrated that sometime between 15 and 24 months children begin to develop a sense of self awareness. They can look in a mirror and recognise the refection they see as their own. This is one of the first components of the self-concept to emerge. Our self-concept is who we believe ourselves to be and is sometimes referred to as the ego or separate self because we see ourself as separate from “other.” This is the beginning of what the spiritual teacher Ram Dass called “somebody training.” We begin the journey of acquiring an identity. Our parents give us a name and we go to school where we learn to get good grades and chase our goals. The Rat Race has begun ! Our identity becomes defined as our achievements and our possessions.

There is, however, another dimension of “Self” which remains hidden. Sometimes called the “ true Self “ or essence, it is who, or what, you are at the deepest level. This is where true and lasting happiness, love and peace are found.

When you feel there is something missing in your life it’s because you’ve become disconnected from this level of your being. We dissociate from our Self.

The good news is you can reconnect with your authentic self at any time. The ego lives in the past and future and looks outside yourself, in the world, for success and happiness while your true self is always here in the present moment, the Now. You’ve simply been looking in the wrong direction!

It’s time to come home to your true self and to find more meaning and purpose in your life. It’s in your true or authentic self that the lasting happiness you’ve been searching for is found.

This website and myself are here to help and support you.

Take a look at what’s on offer :

“ If you think something is missing in your life, it is probably YOU…”

Robert Holden