Most people when asked what they want in life will answer, happiness. We learn from an early age that happiness can be found in objects. As we grow up, childhood toys become adult toys. A new car, the latest i phone, clothes, money, all of which can represent symbols of success. These objects do bring us happiness but it is often fleeting and short lived, so we go in search of more objects.

Let me share with you my story. I once had all the trappings of success. I used to work in the NHS where i climbed my career ladder to become a Consultant Clinical Psychologist, head of specialty within my department. I lived in a beautiful large detached house in the Lake District, drove a high performance car and took frequent holidays abroad. Was i happy ? No, in fact it was the most unhappy period of my life.

In order to understand why our search for happiness, peace and love remains so elusive we need to go back to childhood. Studies have demonstrated that sometime between 15 and 24 months children begin to develop a sense of self awareness. They can look in a mirror and recognise the refection they see as their own. This is one of the first components of the self-concept to emerge. Our self-concept is who we believe ourselves to be and is sometimes referred to as the ego or separate self because we see ourself as separate from “other.” This is the beginning of what the spiritual teacher Ram Dass called “somebody training.” We begin the journey of acquiring an identity. Our parents give us a name and we go to school where we learn to get good grades and chase our goals. The Rat Race has begun ! Our identity becomes defined as our achievements and our possessions.

There is, however, another dimension of “Self” which remains hidden. Sometimes called the “ true Self “ or essence, it is who, or what, you are at the deepest level. This is where true and lasting happiness, love and peace are found.